Saturday wasn’t too bad. A lot of editing, a date, some working out, some dvd watching and some Pokemon Ranger.
Sunday however, was batshit insane. It started out pretty normally. I got up, worked out while watching a movie, forgot to eat and got ready for a date at 6pm. Well, about 4pm I start to take off to the Pentagon City Mall so I could park and take the metro. I had a feeling I needed to leave early to be on time…and I was right.
About three blocks from my house I drove past an opposum that was sitting in the road shaking. At first i was like, “Oh the poor thing’s going to get hit. Then a car drove by me and swerved out of the way. The little critter was either not afraid or cars…or couldn’t move for some reason. That whole helping woodland creatures instinct kicked in, so I parked my car and got out to look at her. She didn’t hiss or run away. I had gloves and a thick coat on, so I pet her back. She hissed and took about two steps away. he back leg was dragging a bit so I assumed she had a broken leg or had been hit by a car. I couldn’t just leave her there, so I went to my car, grabbed the only thing I had (a dress shirt that I keep in case of some last minute formal thingie.) and wrapped the opposum up in it. She hissed one more time, but didn’t try to get away. It was like finding Mr. Biteums all over again.
I pet her for a while before picking her up to make sure she understood I wasn’t going to hurt her. She tried to play dead once or twice, but in the end, she realized I wasn’t going to do anything but help so she just stared at me with this bright (but beady) eyes.
I picked her up and put her in my car and took her home. I’m thinking “I should let Christina know I’m going to be late,” but honestly if your date texted you with, “Sorry. Found a possum. May be late,” wouldn’t you think that was the lamest excuse ever?
I called Heather and asked where she kept the cat food, since I know Opposums love that. I poured some onto the chair where I sat her and she instantly perked up and turned around, even while bundled in a blanket and began devouring it. She was a pretty hungry opposum. When she turned she did almost fall off the chair but I caught her and she didn’t his, snap or anything like a normal opposum would. I think by this point she knew I was her friend. I called three different animal shelters and finally found one nearby to take her to. They were surprised that the opposum was this frienly and that it let me pick her up/bundle her up/put her in a box with cat food with no resistance. It was like she was domesticated already, but that’s illegal in VA I soon found out.
The Animal clinic thanked me for bringing her in and remarked that she was thin and indeed something was wrong with her back leg. They think she was rolled by a car. Still, she was energetic, had a strong appetite and let the vets inspect her without any problem. They gave me her case number and told me she would be going to an animal rehabber that specialized in opposums and that she’ll probably be released into the wild. They did say if she suffered pelvic damage she may have to be put down, which worries me as she was so friendly and happy and alive, but as her back legs did work (mostly) and she was able to walk a bit on her own and turn around in order to eat food, that she was going to be okay. I actually wanted to keep her but legally I couldn’t. After I made sure everything was okay, I rushed to park my car, got on the metro and was only a minute or two late for my date who thought the whole incident was cute and sweet. She did agree that if I backed out due to opposum protection, that she wouldn’t have believed it and thought it was a brush off.
Christian and I went to the Bricksletter and had a good meal. We were there for about 2.5 hours and then I came back to my car…only to find the automated payment machine ate my ticket and so there was no way to get out. Security wouldn’t help and the parking people were going for the night (9:15pm) so I was trapped in the garage! I actually found a mall employee (Cute girl named Lauren) who agreed to help me out after she revealed there is a secret way to get out of those parking garages without paying. I wanted to pay! I tried to pay, but fuck if anyone would let me. I did forget to get her number though, so I’ll probably never see her again. Too bad. tres cute.
I came home, washed up, had a bit of chest pains that turned out to be a deep cough, watched Death Tunnel which we’ll talk about later and ended the night making fun of the Food Network challenge by discussing thing sthat we new would win since the “prize” is to have your dish listed on the menu at Fridays. Basically our eyes were “What would drunk/stoned people eat that would potentially cause heart issues down the line?”
Ideas include:
The Appetizer Burger. Chicken fingers for the patty, with a bun stuffed with mozarella and bacon (Like stuffed crust pizza) and deep fried mushrooms and onion rings for garnish.
The Sarah Palin: A blondie (white chocolate brownie) to represent the untouched Arctic wilderness filled with that lava cake gooie fudge (to represent oil lurking beneath the soil)
New York Nachos: Basically Poutine but Americanized: Tater tots lathered in brown gravy, cheese and bacon.
GRAVY SLAMMERS: Too often gravy isn’t used for a dipping sauce. Not anymore. A gravy slammer would be something akin to au jus but more AMERICAN! AMERICA BABY! It would include a range of sandwiches like sausage patty with cheese and bacon that you would SLAM DUNK into a bowl of gravy. The bowl would be a bread bowl so you could break it off and slam it into the gravy as well. EXTREME!
This led to Slammers spin offs like CHEESE SLAMMERS, FUDGE SLAMMERS and more. Then it hit 2 am and we realized we needed sleep.
This my friends, was my sunday. I’ll try and upload the picture I have of Bitey the Opposum swaddled in a shirt for you later.